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Bringing your child to visit a very ill sibling

Bringing a healthy child to visit a very ill sibling in the hospital can help the whole family. But, before you take your child to visit their ill sibling, prepare your child for the visit so they know what to expect.

How to Prepare Your Child

There are several things you can do to prepare your child:

  • Ask if your child wants to visit. It is OK if your child changes their mind.
  • Talk with your child about their ill sibling. The social worker, health care provider, or nurse can help you choose words to explain the illness the sibling has.
  • Show your child a picture of the ill sibling in their hospital room.
  • Talk with your child about what they will see. This may include tubes, machines that monitor vital signs, and other medical equipment.
  • Bring your child to a sibling support group, if there is one available.
  • Have your child draw a picture or leave a gift for their ill sibling.

Your child will have questions about why their sibling is sick. The child will probably ask if their sibling will get better. You can be ready by having a social worker, nurse, or provider there before, during, and after the visit.

Your child may feel angry, scared, helpless, guilty, or jealous. These are normal feelings.

Often children do better than adults when visiting their ill sibling. Be sure your child does not have a cold, cough, or any other illness or infection when they visit.

Make sure to follow hand-washing and masking rules as well as other hospital safety rules.

References

Davidoff K, Heneghan C, Wolfe J, Ullrich C. Pediatric palliative care. In: Kliegman RM, St. Geme JW, Blum NJ, et al, eds. Nelson Textbook of Pediatrics. 22nd ed. Philadelphia, PA: Elsevier; 2025:chap 8.

Davidson JE, Aslakson RA, Long AC, et al. Guidelines for family-centered care in the neonatal, pediatric, and adult ICU. Crit Care Med. 2017;45(1):103-128. PMID: 27984278 pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27984278/.

Kingsley J, Clark JD. Patient- and family-centered care in the pediatric intensive care unit. In: Zimmerman JJ, Clark RSB, Fuhrman BP, Rotta AT, et al. eds. Fuhrman and Zimmerman's Pediatric Critical Care. 6th ed. Philadelphia, PA: Elsevier; 2022:chap 16.

Kleiber C, Montgomery LA, Craft-Rosenberg M. Information needs of the siblings of critically ill children. Child Health Care. 1995;24(1):47-60. PMID: 10142085 pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/10142085/.

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Patient Instructions

Review Date 4/1/2024

Updated by: Charles I. Schwartz, MD, FAAP, Clinical Assistant Professor of Pediatrics, Perelman School of Medicine at the University of Pennsylvania, General Pediatrician at PennCare for Kids, Phoenixville, PA. Also reviewed by David C. Dugdale, MD, Medical Director, Brenda Conaway, Editorial Director, and the A.D.A.M. Editorial team.