Intimate Partner Violence

What is intimate partner violence (IPV)?

Intimate partner violence (IPV) is abuse that happens in a romantic relationship. The intimate partner could be a current or former spouse or dating partner. IPV is also known as domestic violence.

IPV can happen one time, or it may be ongoing. It may include different types of abuse, such as:

• Physical violence, which is when a person hurts or tries to hurt a partner by hitting, kicking, or using another type of physical force.
• Sexual violence which involves forcing or attempting to force a partner to take part in sexual activity when the partner does not or cannot consent. The sexual activity could include things like sex acts, sexual touching, or non-physical sexual events (e.g., sexting).
• Emotional abuse, which includes threats, name-calling, put-downs, and humiliation. It can also involve controlling behavior, such as telling a partner how to act or dress and not letting them see family or friends.
• Economic abuse, also called financial abuse, involves controlling access to money.
• Stalking, which is repeated, unwanted contact that causes fear or concern for the safety of the partner. This can include watching or following the partner. The stalker may send repeated, unwanted phone calls or texts.

Who is affected by intimate partner violence (IPV)?

It is hard to know exactly how common IPV is because it is often not reported.

But we do know that IPV can happen to anyone. It affects people with all levels of income and education.

What are the signs that someone is experiencing intimate partner violence (IPV)?

If you think that a loved one might be experiencing IPV, watch for these signs:

Does your friend or loved one:

• Have unexplained cuts or bruises?
• Avoid friends, family, and favorite activities?
• Make excuses for their partner's behavior?
• Look uncomfortable or fearful around their partner?

Does your friend or loved one's partner:

• Yell at or make fun of them?
• Try to control them by making all the decisions?
• Check up on them at work or school?
• Force them to do sexual things they don't want to do?
• Threaten to hurt themself if the partner wants to break up?

What can I do if I am experiencing intimate partner violence (IPV)?

Your safety is the most important concern. If you are in immediate danger, call 911.

If you are not in immediate danger, you can:

• Get medical care if you have been injured or sexually assaulted.
• Call a helpline for free, anonymous help. You can contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE (7233) or 800-787-3224 (TTY). You can also chat with them through their website or through text by texting START to 88788.
• Find out where to get help in your community. Contact local organizations that can help you.
• Make a safety plan to leave. Intimate partner violence usually does not get better. Think about a safe place for you to go and all the things you will need when you leave.
• Save the evidence. Keep evidence of abuse, such as pictures of your injuries or threatening emails or texts. Make sure that it is in a safe place the abuser cannot access.
• Talk to someone you trust, such as a family member, a friend, a co-worker, or a spiritual leader.
• Consider getting a restraining order to protect yourself.

How can I help someone who is experiencing intimate partner violence (IPV)?

Let your loved one know that being treated this way isn't healthy and that they are not to blame. You should:

• Call 911 if there is immediate danger.
• Watch for the signs of abuse. Learn about the signs and keep track of the ones that you see.
• Find out about local resources. Get the addresses and phone numbers of some local resources in your community. Then, you'll be able to share the information if the person is ready for it.
• Set up a time to talk. Make sure you can have your conversation in a safe, private place. Your loved one's partner may have access to their cell phone or computer, so be careful about sharing information over text or email.
• Be specific about why you are worried. Describe the behaviors that concern you. Be as specific as possible when explaining why you are worried.
• Plan for safety. If your loved one is ready to leave an abusive partner, help them make a plan for getting out of the relationship as safely as possible. An intimate partner violence counselor can help with making a safety plan.
• Be patient and do not judge. You should talk about your concerns with your loved one, but you need to understand that they may not be ready to talk about it. Let them know that you're available to talk at any time, and that you will listen without judging them.